I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
no. you can't hotbox the world.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
