Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
