You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize