That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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