Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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