My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Pants are for mortals
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
