dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
