Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
