White coat. Heels.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we're chasing vodka with high fives
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
