i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
