"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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