dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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