I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize