If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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