If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
