booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
