Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
