I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
