Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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