she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
