ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
