babies were throwing up all over the place
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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