she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I had to cum in my sink.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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