Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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