in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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