I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We have started to decorate penises.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
