hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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