super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
