my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
porn star boner night. come get it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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