so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
