I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
