That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
