you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize