I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
