and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
