Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
