so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
