your room smells of hookers.
And success
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
