i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
