where am i from again
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
