I could make wine with my vomit
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
