seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
