I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
