the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
