The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
