my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is wine microwaveable?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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