Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
