did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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