What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
