there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
