Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
