i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
