He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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