Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
