so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize